How to Deal with the Trauma of Divorce
By siliconindia   |   Tuesday, 06 September 2011, 00:21 IST
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How to Deal with the Trauma of Divorce
Bangalore: Getting divorced can be a painful experience, it is almost like a part of your life is ending, and you have to stay focused to make the most of your new life. Emotions are high, from betrayal, jealousy, hurt, humiliation, embarrassment and anger. In this particular situation how do you deal with the trauma? Think your divorce is not a trauma, it is just a necessity! The steps you take toward recovering from a divorce will determine the manner in which you heal. Don't allow your feelings to cause you to seek revenge, play the victim or become abusive toward your spouse. Forgive yourself and your spouse and don't allow the issues from this marriage to follow you into new relationships. Believe that there is life after divorce and one day you will be able to love again and trust another person with your heart. Here is a list of things you can keep in mind that will help you move ahead after divorce and guide you to a successful new life. Live in present: Living in the present is where you can see all the "good things" in life happens. Don't look too much in to past and future. Don?t use all your emotional energy thinking about how things used to be, you will end up with no energy left for today. The same goes for looking ahead and how things would have been if you had not divorced. Staying stuck in the past or grieving over what you lost in the future takes away your ability to live today with awareness. Take care of your physical health: According to researches divorce and spousal death have almost similar impacts on a person's health and divorce even operates like a traumatic event in one's life. Seek counseling to get help to deal with and process the emotional issues that come up during divorce. Stay in touch with your family doctor, a checkup will help ward off illnesses brought by the stress that accompanies divorce. Stay as active as possible by keeping a regular exercise routine. Nothing helps your emotions bounce back better than physical activity. It will also help you to release the energy and tension from anger. Take up jogging, do some aerobics or kick boxing. If exercise isn't possible try relaxation exercises such as yoga and meditation. Find ways to smile: This is the best thing which you can do. Find ways to make yourself smile. Engage in stress-relieving hobbies to take your mind off the pain. Reading, playing music, comedy shows and joining a community service group will help you to stay grounded and combat depression. Life after divorce usually means added responsibilities. If you are a single parent or are now the one responsible for the once shared to-do list, how do you handle it all without being totally stressed out? To start, learn to laugh more, especially at yourself. Avoid bad habits Avoid destructive activities such as drinking or drugs when trying to deal with your feelings. Don't allow your feelings to cause you to seek revenge, play the victim or become abusive toward your spouse. If you are hurt or angry, it is best to find someone safe to vent to and get those feelings out. Some people find themselves tempted to drink, smoke, or do recreational drugs to deal with the stress. Don't give into temptation. You have enough to deal with without worrying about a possible addiction. Whatever it may be, try not to end up a relationship unless you cannot find a single way to walk together. Because it takes a lifetime efforts and hope to tie that knot, don untie it over a hasty decision. It is referred to as a "marriage made in heaven" and that make it all less than perfect.

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