EQ Dropping in Indian Kids

Bangalore: Indian parents do not want their kids to develop emotional maturity at a very early age. Childhood is where parents see absolute innocence of their kids. But these days kids are losing their charm at a very early age. Children are growing up fast, in fact children are indeed speeding past the springtime of their lives, say psychiatrists. Reported by Hemali Chhapia and Yogita Rao for TNN. The emotional touch that used to be there before, like sweet hugs and kisses, picnics, bed time stories and playing chess against dad are disappearing these days. "The EQ among our children is on the decline. They have a lower threshold for tolerance, they are easily depressed, their coping ability has reduced and complexity has gone up. Seven and eight year olds talk of violent acts and of dying these days," says psychiatrist Dr Nirmala Rao. New games and toys like angry bird. Crime life: gang wars and other ultra brutal games are not at all being helpful in elevating the EQ in children. Peggy Mohan, an English teacher with a Delhi school, says, "We are living in tiny cocoons. Our children are like aliens who've ventured into the adult space. They are as nice as ever, but they do not have the sense of the landscape they live in." The EQ test was done on two sets of children sitting in front of the bowl filled with marshmallows. The children were informed, that who can wait can get two marshmallows and who are running out of patience can pick just one. Children, who waited and grabbed two marshmallows, were said to be happier, good scorers and would have strong family bonds. "Teaching children to wait is so important. But a BlackBerry is given as soon as it demanded, then there is an instant ice cream, a laptop handed out immediately after it is asked for. Instant gratification is bringing down the EQ," explains psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty. Today's kids are very adamant and hold more power, the discipline in them is plummeting and they also order and demand a lot. They do take few orders and the parental guidance which is just too silly for a child in a kindergarten. "Children these days know that they don't have to obey someone just because they are older or in a position of authority. While we would blindly follow the instructions of any elder including a teacher, an aunt, parents or even a neighbor, when we were young, children these days choose who they want to listen to," says Krithika N V who teaches in a playschool in Chennai and is also a mother to two children aged three and eight. Today's parents are being casual about their children. They are not seeing their kids' activities very often. The present generation mothers are not showing the love and affection like the olden day moms. The tough parenting methods are being practiced which is hampering the emotional and attitude levels in children."Parents squeeze all kinds of classes into a day. Kids start going for swimming, but soon their parents push them to clock better timings. It's about competing, winning, rarely ever about the joy of learning," says a school head. Schools have been noticing about the emotional ability in children are ruptured and they are trying to modify the situation. "We have been organizing events to increase interaction among students. We are also organizing a weeklong event called 'dare to care' to sensitize students," said Jamnabai Narsee School principal Sudeshna Chatterjee. At Indus International, Bangalore, children are put through community service from day one. Says Principal Sarojini Rao, "The changing times and the exposure our children are put through, made us feel that the manner in which we are bringing up our children is wrong. In our times, we had moral lectures. They no longer work. So, we make our children work in orphanages, in public health centres, and without realizing they imbibe the virtues of love, empathy and respect." Children learn to live from the surroundings and the culture put into them. So, Dr Shetty adds that there are other ways to enrich their EQ. "The ambience matters; feelings should be spoken about generously, they matter more than thoughts."